Relationship care

How old are the aspects in me and in you when we are in conflict? Are we arguing about the blue shovel in the sandpit, or do we have to prove to each other who is faster or better? Mostly, it is the young aspects of ourselves that are involved in conflict. This is also the case in the collective consciousness at the moment, as can be seen well in business and politics.


But we also have more mature aspects that are capable of reflecting and acting in a wholesome way. These are also our ressources for dealing  with conflicts differently.

Individual building blocks


In my opinion, most conflicts are based on a misunderstanding:

  • Not feeling one's own movement, the origin of one's own motivation in a conflict.
  • And the difficulty of being able to feel the other in myself. How much can I perceive my counterpart in his or her motivation?
  • The misunderstanding of separation. We are not as different in our needs as we sometimes seem to be in a conflict.
  • Feeling seen and heard by the other person melts ice.

Sweep your own door

In my work, I first take a look at my own interior. Understanding the meaning of this conflict in my own system.


To put myself in the footsteps of the other person

If I succeed in transforming the conflict within myself, I can bring this experience into my outer relational spaces. This creates understanding and space for new experiences, thoughts and actions.


Being with what is

Acknowledge where we stand in relation to one another or against one another and which step can be taken.


Bigger perspective

Breaking destructive cycles requires greater awareness of the situation.

"Problems can never be solved with the same way of thinking that created them." (A. Einstein)